just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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