Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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