under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
