wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
This house was built for laser tag.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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