that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
