hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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