I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize