i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
