Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize