This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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