He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i just had sex bonerless
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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