Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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