I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
