I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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