carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
