Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize