Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
