I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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