its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
