normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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