You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
My cat gives me a boner
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
