There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
