what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
