No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
My dick has a subreddit
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
