I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
So many bounce houses so little time
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Randomize
