Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
