I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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