i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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