New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
