A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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