I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
