Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
