In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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