Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
