we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
