Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
organizing the empties. That sober.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
