im gay
i know
yea but for you.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
And then my night got REAL pukey
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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