I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
worst night to have a conscience
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
