I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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