i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I deserve this hangover.
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