Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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