Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
