so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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