coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
