Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
