I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
well most of my day revolves around power hour
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
