I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
