i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
