ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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