In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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