I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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