Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
