I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
