SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
