You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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