from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize