i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
