That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
