I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
