he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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