I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize