Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
